Feb 2 2014 - 12 Months has passed.....

I have been lurking in the shadows...

Darkness has had its way with me, and I welcomed it.

My journey has been only as hard as I made it...

My child is still living, still struggling, but still living...

The desire to leave this plane of existence is not as powerful for my child as it has been, I am grateful for this, which only reveals my attachment to the outcome of her journey.

What I have learned;

In Tibetan Buddhism - the word for love is different for the love between a parent and a child. In Tiebetan Buddhism - it is taught that this (the love between a parent and child) is the most all-consuming form of love that there is.

It is the hardest attachment to become detached from.

This is what makes parenting one of the biggest lessons of our lives.

It is SELF-ABUSIVE to expect myself to remain in a high vibrational state while my child is abusing themselves.

I stopped expecting myself to be anywhere other than where I was at that very moment...

I began to breathe despite the current situation with my child.

Art of Detachment:

- it does not mean I am to stop caring about another person.

- it means to detach my happiness from the other person so that the other person's actions aren't affecting the way that I feel.

- it is taking responsibility for how I feel.

- it is removing the responsibility from the other person, or from the external world.

- it is responding, rather than reacting

- it is surrender

- it is acknowledging that I did not cause another to act a certain way or experience an event in a certain way.

- it is acknowledging that nothing I do can change another

- it is acknowledging that I do not have the secret that will cure anyone...  but for me...

- it takes back the responsibility for my life, for my happiness and allows the other the freedom to do the same for themselves without worrying about how they are affecting me....

It is not an easy task, but it is achievable.

It is the journey I am on...

In grace and love

Mj