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There are so many forms of abuse and sometimes we don't recognize many of them.

Gas-lighting is one that is fluent and rampant among many who are in the:




I have encountered and experienced this time and time again.

Someone I love deeply has this skill in their "tool box" and uses it to manipulate themselves and others towards "positivity"

This form of abuse is not seen clearly, and can even be labeled as "positive"

It is part of an 'Authoritarian Personality' which tends to see things in absolutes. Things are either 100% right or 100% wrong! Robin Stern, PhD.

Unfortunately this person does not see themselves clearly, they lack the self-awareness of this form of abuse. They are also unaware of how they are abusing themselves.

They perceive they are operating in unflinching honesty, "saying it like it is" Robin Stern PhD.

Make no mistake this is a form of abuse, be it self abuse or abuse of others there is help for all.

In the Mind, Body and Spirit connection work I do, I see Gas-lighting and Bypassing as the Shadow aspects of the Manifestation & Positive moments.

These aspects keep one in 'Resistance' to an aspect of the whole, that is necessary for one to stand in their personal power.

To me, 'PERSONAL POWER' does not mean anyone is in control.

Control becomes a 'non-issue' when we are connected to our personal power.

When we Gas-light or Bypass, we fuel resistance and can feel like we are never quite there yet! (there being our ultimate goal)

Having to push through resistance is not necessary...

Recognizing this releases resistance, when we honor this release the energetic component of resistance. Opening a pathway to our personal power.

What is Bypassing?

Bypassing - Not seeing, Not feeling, Not accepting...

What is Gas-lighting?

Gas-lighting - Convincing self of untruths to keep bypassing...

Gas-lighting is the act of undermining a persons reality (or your own) by denying facts, denying the environment around them, or their feelings.

Targets are manipulated into turning against their cognition, their emotions and who they fundamentally are as people.

A Gas-lighter is a student of social learning. They witness it, feel the effects of it, or stumble upon it and see that it is a potent tool. Its a cognitive strategy for self-regulation and co-regulation that works. Robin Stern PhD.

When I am around one who uses this potent tool, I can see how abusive this is to them and others.

When someone attempts to use it on me, I am sent back into a 'PTSD' response.

I have worked long at discovering what this has been and how it harmed me so deeply. Waking up crying in sorrow. I truly love this person so deeply and could not understand how they could not see how deeply their treatment harmed me.

In life we are harmed, its part of the journey. We alone have the ability to decide how long or how deep we will hurt as a result of this harm.

Daily I would investigate myself, learn from the experience and make an attempt (be it terribly messy at times) to shift and heal this harm. Only to have it repeated.

Knowing only I have the power to stand against this form of abuse, and that only I can take my power back, I was faced with a decision.

If I speak up, it could sever a relationship that I really want. I also have the awareness that any possible future with this person will continue to harm me if I don't speak up, this motivated the choice and the risk.

I truly love this person and pray for a future in each others lives.

In order for me to move forward, I must recognized and honor my truth.

This does not mean abuse or dismiss this person.

A bit of my history plays a role in how long I have let this go on.

Being diagnosed with 'PTSD' in 1986 at a time the medical professionals had no real idea how to work with it, only how to medicate it, was a challenge.

33 years later after deep steady work, I take the "PCL5' test and see the growth and deep work I have accomplished. I am pretty proud of myself.

I have walked a transforming healing journey.

I have fallen down on this journey.

I have taken others down with me on this journey.

I have been taken out at the knees and had the ground under me evaporate into a deep 'Sink Hole' of hell.

I have been so very alone on this journey.

I have been alone in a crowd on this journey.

Each time I have dragged my way through the wreckage and destruction to become a better me.

I didn't do this for others.

I didn't do this to prove to anyone, anything about me.

I didn't do this despite my, abuse or abusers.

I did this because under all the beliefs that formed me, (beneficial and not so beneficial) as a person was a deep knowing.

A knowing that I have doubted, questioned, challenged and rejected.

A knowing of a truth that I refused at times to see, hear and connect with.

A knowing that I searched for evidence to disprove.

This knowing within remained steady, no matter how I fought it.

I am not a survivor of abuse.

I have survived abuse.

I am not a survivor of rape.

I have survived rape.

This knowing showed me the truth of who I am:

I am a divine being...

This is the truth that has remained steady.

This is the knowing that pulled me from the depths of darkness and the pits of hell.

This is the knowing that got me off the floor and moved me forward to today.

When I honor the 'Divine' in me, honoring the 'Divine' in others flows naturally, easily.

Its this knowing that drove me to recognize that Gas-lighting and Bypassing are the Shadow Aspects of the "Positivity Movement"

As long as they are not recognized, they will interfere with forward motion. They are resistance strategies.

It is my truth that the Mind, Body, and Spirit Connection is necessary to personal power and empowering others.

I pray I may be the light for others on this journey of awareness.

I am so very grateful to this person I love so dearly, for helping me see the "shadow" aspect so clearly.


Robin Stein Phd. information taken from;

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