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Practice Makes Perfect!

Beginning this New Year with an awareness of my practice, the old adage "Practice Makes Perfect!" keeps running through my head.

What are we practicing?

Is what we are practicing working for us?

If not, why?

Do we spend enormous amounts of time trying to figure this out? or do we just give up?

Coming from my PTSD Lenz, this was never easy for me. I danced between disconnection, (Freeze in the A.N.S) and a sense of confidence that "I got this!."

When I began my training in SE, the disconnection that had been habitual ended. The freeze was no longer a viable option for me. Then a family event showed up and for the first time in my life, I did not disconnect into "a superior than thou" state, I actually practiced a new way of being me.

A way of connecting to all aspects, making room for the aspect that wanted to disconnect, or freeze, and the aspect that is learning to rely on my inner power, inner wisdom and take care of myself. I was able to stay present to all I was feeling and to observe all that was going on at the same time. I never bypassed my experience once. When I needed to take action, I did not lash out, I just stood up and left. This was my way of taking care of me. This was new to me.

Leading me to become aware of my practice and how it is working for me, and how it is not. Lending the possibility of the New Year to make room for new practice...

Practice only makes perfect if the practice is designed for you!

How would you know if it is designed for you?

How I know, is it integrates into my life easily.

I have tried so many practices that felt foreign and despite the teacher’s persistent statements:

“That awkward feeling will leave in time!”

I have even heard:

“The awkward feeling is not leaving because you are not committed!”

It is sad, that these teachers did not look for a deeper reason, that would have assisted me on such a greater level.

What not many of my teachers saw, was the amount of study and practice that I actually put in.

Yet no matter how committed I was, the awkward feeling for a practice that was not designed for me, didn’t leave...

For years I found myself plagued with thoughts of “Not good enough” or “I can’t even do the simplest practice!”

Over time I recognized the practices that flowed for me, were the ones designed for me.

Moving energy in my own personal way is a combination of bits and pieces of the many practices I have studied.

My 7-month training in Master Meditation back in 2004 assisted in leading me to deeper practices. Expanding on the Spiritual Education I began in bible college when I was 18. Taking me to the great work of Caroline Myss, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Peter Levine, Sonia Choquette, Brian Wiess, Denis Linn, Donna Eden, Detlief Friede, Ines Simpson and many more…

These teachers lead me into Shamanic Practices that supported Soul Retrieval. Leading me to Dr. Jane Simington where I trained in Grief Counselling, Suicide Prevention, and Trauma Recovery.

This work led me to Dr. Bruce Perry, Gabor Mate, Bessel Van der Volk, Steven Jenkinson, ultimately back to Peter Levine.

I am two-thirds of the way through the first year of a 3-year training in Peter Levine’s, Somatic Experiencing with a knowing that has grown through practices that I designed for me via all my training and study.

It has become natural for me to combine all I know with a minor amount of training in Somatic Experiencing has awakened in me an awareness of the need to stop chasing BIG AHA! Moments.

The knowing and experience of SLOW has changed the journey.

Opening me to a greater connection to my personal power.

In the tiniest of shifts I have moved through a “50-year-old program” in my Autonomic Nervous System – A.N.S. that I did not know was there.

This happened slowly over 6 months.

Despite my continuous study and effort, this was not moving any faster than my A.N.S would allow it.

Being able to make the connection to why things kept repeating over and over again released the blocked energy that each repeated event held.

I have followed my intuition all my life and my guess is all of you are as well.

Unfortunately for me, most of this following was, "without any wisdom with regards to that actual details of the process."

I can share thousands of stories about my life, about the wisdom I have gained, and tell you that a lot of the wisdom was from hindsight, where 20 – 20 vision seems possible.

Knowledge is key, yet it remained a rumor until it became activated in my system.

Activation is not as simple as switching your thinking, beginning an exercise routine or eating a different way. Activation requires more than action, and these are all action steps. It is not something we can logically engage in.

Activation for me happens when I use Dr. Jane Simingtons' 4-part model. Information, experience, reflection, and process. Combining it with my Mind, Body and Soul work.

Creating space for questions:

What else might one need to further this process into activation in your whole self?

Meditation, Yoga, from an energetic practitioner who has done deep bodywork. Counselling, group growth, building a community. There is not just one way, there are many. Activation via the Mind, Body, and Soul was the key for me.

For me, Activation is a complete mind, body, soul integrative experience. That includes all of the practices I have mentioned, no matter how tiny.

Some move at a faster pace, this can be wonderful for them, but for me, it created self-judgment that took away from a self-awareness of my progress on my journey.

I am no longer pursuing the great big “AHA!” moments. I am not promoting great big moments either.

I am promoting slow and steady activation, knowing that activation has an attractive magnetic force, "SLOW" has to be one of the guidelines.

We all at one time or another have found ourselves pursuing the metaphoric “Golden Goal”. And possibly been stuck with our eye on the prize unable to recognize the hindrances.

Then there are those that are so overwhelmed by the view, that reveals the steps needed to take and end up giving up before they get to the desired outcome.

There are also those who run from each new process/training to the next one, gaining tremendous ground each moment.

At what seems to be the peek, the golden prize, they seem to run up against a proverbial wall/block in the process. Or the ground falls out from under them like it did for me, and it takes a considerable amount of time before we can stand again. Let alone re-enter practice.

This all can cause confusion, feelings of defeat, that logically we can language, yet do not assist us.

Running into the activation can actually shut down the process for a long period of time. This is not wrong; it would only shut down the process if it was what you needed.

Activation is not a planned event; logic can only gain information.

Regardless of how much we plan to be enlightened, we are not going to attain enlightenment on our own schedule.

Another guideline would be flexibility.

We must be extremely flexible in activation. Being open to experiencing information via our Mind, our Body and our Soul with regards to a sense of “why” and the process of why also a sense of intuition and the process of intuitive guidance.

Both work well.

We are not always aware that there is an internal order that is taking place, that can not logically be recognized. It can not be ordered to change. These are programs that were formed prior to age 7. And even as early as in the uterus, that is not logical, but completely in charge.

We may not understand why some people can experience the heightened super deep intensity and be okay – appear okay, when we can’t seem to get past what we sense as a BLACK VOID…

Some people can calm when guided to take a deep breath, some enter panic.

Both are direct results of each person’s internal program. If we go into this work with curiosity, not with the agenda.

We give ourselves permission for space and time, which honors our A.N.S.’s need for SLOW…

We have a greater opportunity to achieve wholeness, a greater opportunity to develop our personal practice designed for ourselves by ourselves.

Seeking profound experiences is pursuing the proverbial pot of gold and there is nothing wrong with the pursuit, what can happen is our A.N.S. steps in and takes over, reinforcing the program from under the age of 7.

This can block the growth and take away from the profoundness of the centimeter or inch that you just achieved. Sometimes that tiny sign of progress is all your A.N.S. can process. And every time we push ourselves, we build “a less than impressive response” that is not logical in our A.N.S. that will instill this patterning and we cannot logically talk our way through this.

Some guidelines in practice:

1. SLOW.

2. Flexibility.

These reinforce stabilization. That is the key to development as a person, in any field.

Happy New Year all.

In Grace and Love


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