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Nov 13 2015 - I entered HELL a year ago today...

6:13 am Nov 13, 2014, my phone rang.


I knew the voice, it was the voice of someone who didn't like my daughter.


It held no compassion, no mercy as this voice bluntly asks for my husband, then blurts out:


"YOUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD"

Vaguely I remember saying;

"What?"


Direct cutting words exploded out of this voice:


"THEY FOUND HER BODY IN HER APARTMENT YESTERDAY, CALL 1 (8..........  THAT IS ALL I KNOW!"


Then the click of the phone call ending echoed in my ear.



The walls of my world burned away revealing a darkness that matched the stories of HELL I had been told as a child by my Father...


In this moment I knew HELL was real and it consumed me, claimed me as its resident.  I could not see any flames of fire burning around me, yet I felt the burning of my flesh, my very soul in a raging fire all around me. 


Breathing took so much effort, so much concentration, each inhale was excruciating, I wanted each exhale to be my last, but it wasn't.  Lost in the horror of this all-consuming battle in HELL, I didn't truly experience the world around me as it filled up with family and friends.  All dropping the things in their world to be there for me, for my husband, my children, and my family.


The echoes of all who had gathered were drowned out by screaming in my head, in my heart and my soul.  It came from a place I had never known, burning my ears, scorching my soul.


The raging fire of this HELL burned away the illusions of everything that had mattered to me, revealing a world that had been filled with things, possessions that signified who I was, so I thought. 


All the things that had once shone bright enough to catch my eye, to mean something to me disappeared in this darkness.


I SCREAMED,

"YES, FATHER YOU WERE RIGHT, 

THERE IS A HELL! 

ONLY MY DEATH IS NOT THE GATEWAY TO IT...  

AND JESUS!  

THE ONE YOU TALK ABOUT, 

THE ONE WHO CAME TO SAVE MY SOUL FROM THIS HELL.  

WHERE IS HE NOW?????"

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